Saña's bunkahh...

i used to think that beauty is something that can make you feel comfortable to move any way you want..

 

i used to think that when you think you are beautiful you get rid of the bad things around you so you can end the day happy..

 

i used to think that when you see beauty, you never grow old and die..

 

i used to see love so beautifully that it gave me so much hope to love more..

 

 

 

but then, why do other people refuse to see this?

why are they eager to see the other side than Beauty itself?

Why do they refuse to see how beautiful every person is?

Why can't they just look at themselves and see how beautiful they are without cruelty?

 

 

i feel so horrified finding people around me losing their touch in seeing what's nice..

 

in order to see beauty, one must be innocent..

 

i love that..

 

an  innocent heart is beautiful..

 

 

but why do other people make fun of those who are innocent?

why can't they see that innocense is beauty?

why can't they just shut their filthy mouths about it?

why don't they just die so they can see beauty?

 

 

when i was small, i refuse to look in the mirror afraid of what i might see..

but there are people who helped me look at myself without disgust no matter what i look like..

they had been my refuge to seeing what will save others and myself..

 

i hope they never died..

 

i hope they let other people see what beauty is too..

 

i hope that people who rarely see beauty die early ..

 

i hope that when they die, they get to see what they never saw and what they don't have..

 

it scares me all the time ..

i'm now unable to trust people around me even the ones i really should be trusting..

i used to be sure of myself about the people i need to stay close ...

these are the people i love..

 

im stupid in trusting people..

i trust the ones dishonest and cruel..

why do i do that?!

i thought to myself..

 

i find it easy to love but i find it absurd.

but i still want to love..

i love because i trust ..

but its sometimes a huge mistake that make you think to yourself..

 

 

wanting to kill yourself..

 

 

..stupid stupid stupid...

 

"do you know how women adore how men look at them?"

..last night i woke up seeing you watching me sleep..
i thought of 2 things..

the reason may have been either of the 2; you are thinking how lucky you are you married me, or the other , thinking why you had married me and you being too surprised about it...

it is not so often that you look at me like that..
something was different but i felt really happy and contented..

all my life that is all i ever wanted..

..when you kiss me at night ... i don't know if you ever notice that i wait for that every night.. and if you knew i was awake.. when you say you love me after your gentle kisses, i don't know if you knew that i was listening to every word you say..

hearing those words from the person you love makes you calm and very well rested.. even if u had the shortest hours of sleep..

as simple as that you make me the happiest..

"i have lived a life more or less travelled by cowards"

i usually intend to let time fly out of the most disturbing ways.. learning that the hype wasn't the real deal at all..

you moved me and tilted the life that i have in an enormous way.. somehow the road i had travelled led me to a street far more beautiful than anyone has ever seen, known or felt...

what we had though short in time has become timeless..

in life, we meet a lot of people, feel a lot and lose a lot.. yet in life there is always the means to meet that one love, one fate, one overwhelming feeling and win once and spend your prize for a lifetime...

"i had written poems and short stories about life"

..never been in my life that i have written something HAPPY.. i have written comedy with a lot of drama.. all are based with my inability to do things right and the errors of my experimentation..

i have been motivated by suffering in love .. of saddists and masocists.. of karma and sacrifices..

..but you.. you are a pinch and a whole of everything.. you have completed a whole new poetry in ones life without effort...

"fights.. they come unexpected and genuinely emotional"

....

i love you so much...